Home is a Place You Can Still Get to By Train

Why do people get homesick? Most of the time when they are in the place they were raised, people are bored and want to get out. Then, when they finally make it out, they sometimes miss it terribly. Why?
Is it the missing of common people? You know people in your hometown. They hug you when they see you again. They want to catch up and see how you are doing.
What about the comfort of a home? The house you grew up in will always feel more like a “home” to you than any apartment or house of your own… at least for a while. The feel of your old room is something that can’t really be described. You just feel so relaxed in that place, like it is where you were meant to be.
Could it be familiar places? In my home town, I know every street like the back of my hand. I bet I could drive where I need to while asleep. I can go back to the old restaurants, hang outs, and places we got in trouble and bring back all those memories immediately.
So maybe that’s it… the memories? We’re getting closer now. Christmas morning as a child. Walking to and from school for the first time. Your first kiss. Getting driving instructions in the empty church parking lot. The first time you felt your heart break. Camping out in the backyard. Visiting friends and family. Getting up early for camping trips, sports, and any other number of exciting events. Driving home after senior prom, watching the sun rise while the stars disappear, and looking back. The way you felt when you left for the first time. The way you feel every time you come back.

Right now I really want that last feeling. If not for only just a little bit.

Pray That You Are Not Put To the Test.

Even the strongest body can be torn by violence.

Death can stop the richest heart.

The sharpest mind can carnage still ruin.

War torments even the faithful soul.

Maybe I Just Won’t Sleep Tonight.

It’s one a.m. and I have an 8 a.m. recitation then a test later. And I couldn’t care less.

All I’ve been thinking about all night is how pointless college feels right now. It’s definitely not working out for me. I have no clue where I’m headed with my life, and classes certainly are not helping in that regard. I sit in my classes and feel like I should be doing something better. I’m doing decently, not as good as I could be, admittedly, but easily passing, but at the same time I don’t know what good it’s doing me. Sure, I’m “learning.” I’m learning chemistry, environmental terms and issues, and weather forecasting terms. So? It just feels worthless without an overall plan that it is working towards. And I definitely don’t have that plan.

Taking a year off always sounded so cliche to me, but now it’s making more and more sense. The problem is, I’d need to have a plan if I’m going to do that. I can’t just screw everything up. Talk about wasting money. Then again… I have a well-paying job, I could just make that full-time. I have a home to live in that I’m already paying rent for. And I could maybe go climb some mountains, go backpacking again. That would be amazing. At the same time, as I type all of this, I’m shaking my head at it. What would that prove? Ok, so I climbed some mountains, probably payed off some of my loans from this year, and worked a lot more. So what? I’m just supposed to go back to school after that and everything will be different? I don’t see how that will happen.

Somebody help me.

People I can’t Stand

Ok. I know I didn’t finish that other post as promised, but life hit me like the 203 bus and I couldn’t ever really get to it.

I am going to rant now. You received fair warning. I apologize for my possible language ahead of time.

People I can’t Stand:

• Professors.
  Well, not all of them I guess, but most. The ones who set you up to fail from the start. The ones who find pleasure in giving you no tests all year, only pop quizzes worth test grades. Pop quizzes, you can’t study for those kind. The ones who grade simple assignments as if you, the students, should know enough about the topic as they, the teachers, do. Your job is to teach, not to find out who can catch the strange wordage of your ridiculous trick question and get lucky enough to answer it in the only way that you will give credit for. I learn nothing from your classes when you are just trying to trick me constantly. We get it, you’re smarter than us… Now teach that to us!
• Landlords who you never see even though the house you moved into was a mess when you got there and has had appliance and plumbing issues that have popped up ever since.
  You’re a dick, Rusty.
• People who rub in their intellect.
  I honestly don’t want to hear you talking to your friend about how all your classes are “just honestly way too easy,” and that’s why you’re failing them. Shut up. If you really were so smart you would not have to prove it by using big words you found in the thesaurus last night in casual conversation or by making everyone around you feel stupid. If you’re that smart, prove it by sitting in the back of class, saying nothing and still passing. Don’t tell everyone about it because we honestly don’t care.
• Sean Penn.
  Seriously. What an idiot.
• High Schoolers who think they’re the shit.
  “Oh my god, what happened today was the most important thing that’s ever going to happen in my entire life and I need to tell you all about it right now as loudly as I can. Also, I can’t believe how much cooler I am than everyone else around me even though we all look and act the same in all.”
• College assholes who think they’re the shit.
  “My dad bought me a car and a flat screen tv, so I’m thinking we need to rage tonight bro. We can spike our hair and wear 4 layers of clothes that are way too big for us and maybe that will increase our chances to get some poon.” Get a job.
• Assholes who admit it and embrace it
  Take a 12-step program or something.
• That girl that I see like every time in Chemistry no matter where either of us sit.
  Sorry, you just annoy the piss out of me with everything you do.
• People who can’t respect most kinds of music.
  Just because you’re obsessed with (pop/metal/country/rock/rap/insert music style here) doesn’t mean there aren’t other genres out there that are worth listening to. Music is one of the greatest gifts mankind has. We can express things through music that are impossible without. Respect someone who does that, no matter the method they use.
• PeOpLe WhO tYpE lIkE tHiS.
  I’m either going to kill you or have an epileptic seizure and then kill you.
• People with public service jobs who hate it and take that anger out on the customer.
  All I did was ordered a burger/got on the bus/looked over your merchandise, man. I didn’t need you to go apeshit on me at all.
• Crazy liberals.
  Newsflash: Most citizens of America lean toward the middle. No one enjoys hearing about how much better you are than the alternative. We don’t need to constantly hear from you about how guns are bad, abortion is good, Global Warming is completely human-caused, the war in Iraq is the worst in history, Republicans eat babies, and Barack is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
  On notice: Michael Moore, Ward Churchill, Ted Kennedy, Al Franken, Al Sharpton, Al Gore, The Clintons
• Crazy conservatives.
  Newsflash: Most citizens of America lean toward the middle. No one enjoys hearing about how much better you are than the alternative. We don’t need to constantly see pictures of aborted fetuses or hear from you about how 9-11 changed everything, the environment isn’t changing at all, guns solve everything, and John McCain is a “maverick” (didn’t you hate him not too long ago?).
  On Notice: Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Bill O’Reilly, Dick Cheney, Dubya, Karl Rove, Sean Hannity
• The guys who came up with and/or continue to practice “planned obsolesence.”
  Look it up. You’ll agree with me.
• Carlos Mencia.
  Who convinced this guy that he’s funny at all? You couldn’t pay me enough money to listen to his act.
• People who can’t find happiness in any aspect of life at all.
  We get it, life sucks. Here’s the thing though, it sucks for all of us! I know people who have some of the worst stories you’ve ever heard and they still manage to smile, laugh, and not wear black make-up and clothes every day. You can too.

There are a lot more than that, but at this point I’ve blanked my mind. Yeah, I realize this is pretty hypocritical in a lot of ways, but the thing is I don’t complain all the time about these people or act on my disdain for them. I simply need to write down my issues with them once in a while. This is that once.